Harry's accidental rescue
by slytherinsal
Summary: In which Harry is contemplating killing himself before the Triwizard tournament can do so, and goes to ask Professor Moody's advice ... as soon as Barty Crouch leaves his office. Suicide issues.


Harry sighed with relief. At last Barty Crouch had left Mad-Eye Moody. He couldn't see why the gruff auror would choose such a revolting lover. Harry, who worked on personalities not on looks, didn't even wonder if someone as scarred as Moody might be desperate. Harry didn't quite see why one man would fancy another, but some did and Vernon thought it was disgusting so it must be a good thing. Harry thought that Moody was cutting it fine, because it was almost time for the class his own agegroup would be having, but he had to catch the old auror alone at some point to ask his advice.

Harry waited round a corner, watching Barty Crouch go in the other direction.

Wait a minute. That was Moody stomping along there. Harry retreated up the passage, his invisibility cloak was no bar to Moody's eye. Fortunately Moody was in a hurry. Harry looked at the Marauders' Map again.

It showed Barty Crouch retreating and Moody still in his room.

There was something distinctly hinky going on here.

He wondered if Dobby was still in Hogwarts.

"Dobby?" he said.

There was a pop! And Dobby appeared.

"The Great Harry Potter Sir is wanting Dobby?" he said

"Just Harry to my friends, Dobby," said Harry.

"Dobby is Harry Potters sir's friend?"

"Dobby is Harry's friend."

Dobby burst into tears and hugged Harry, who did not notice the glow of magic from the manipulative little elf.

"Dobby will work hard for Harry Potter now he is Harry's elf friend," said Dobby.

"I don't ... Dobby, do elves clean the teachers' rooms?"

"Of course!"

"Well, are there any traps in Professor Moody's room? Because I think he's been hurt in there," said Harry, who had visions of Crouch having stunned Moody by some incredible luck in order to use polyjuice potion.

"Dobby will go and see," said Dobby. He popped away but was soon back.

"Professor Moody isn't there," he said.

"Yes he is," said Harry, and showed Dobby the map.

Dobby put a long finger on the position Moody occupied and his ears went up.

"Map tells Dobby that Master Mad-eye is in a trunk!" he said. "Wese go rescue him." Harry felt himself popped into Mad-Eye's room. It was a lot less uncomfortable than portkey or side-along apparation. There was a trunk much like the one most students and teachers had. Dobby picked up a bunch of keys from the table and gave them to Harry.

"Multi-compartment trunk, each key opens a different one," he said.

Harry gulped, and picked a key at random. He found clothes and a spare peg leg. He got that out; if Crouch had stolen Moody's identity, he had probably also stolen his leg. It took three goes to find the right key, which opened what appeared to be a dungeon. Moody lay on the floor; his hair looked as though a flock of canaries had pecked at it.

"What did you forget you little bastard?" growled Moody's voice. It sounded raw and ragged.

"Professor Moody? I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you," said Harry, because it seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

"You're Harry Potter," the old auror rolled over painfully.

"It's a literary reference," said Harry. "I have your spare leg, but I think it might be better if Dobby pops you up here."

"Aye, laddie, that would be easier," said Mad-eye.

Dobby popped him up, and Harry tried to let his gaze notice the ravaged socket without staring before helping to attach the peg leg.

"No enchantments on this one," grunted Moody.

Harry went searching and found some nutrient potions which he also passed to the old auror.

"Sir, why would Mr. Crouch do this to you?" asked Harry. "And ... and has it been him all along?"

"It's Barty Crouch junior, and yes, and I'm going to see that dead man walking back in Azkaban," said Moody. "I'll need help to get to the headmaster."

"Excuse me, sir, but if you are supposed to be an old friend of the headmaster, why didn't he realise in all these weeks that you weren't you?" asked Harry. "I know nothing about Crouch junior, only that the name Crouch has been with yours in your room on my father's map ..." he meekly handed the map over when Mad-Eye stuck out a hand, "and Crouch senior set up the competition and Dumbledore seemed pleased when my name came out of the goblet, and I wondered if he's gone dark and thrown in his lot with Voldemort."

"Constant Vigilance in one so young? I approve," grunted Moody. "I'd not have thought Albus Dumbledore could go dark, but ... tell me what you know."

"To be honest, sir, I don't trust Dumbledore at all, any more, may I tell you why?" At Moody's nod, he told about his life with the Dursleys, and what he had found out from Sirius, and that Sirius was innocent, and how Dumbledore had not intervened to save him and demand a trial, and about all the things that had happened to him at school.

Mad-eye listened.

"Now if I'd heard that second-hand, laddie, I'd have said you were an angst-ridden teenager, sounding off and exaggerating. But I know the ring of truth when I hear it. I'd like to see this basilisk of yours, mind; we might get some useful potion ingredients off it. But I'm wondering what to do next if Albus can't be trusted, and sounds like he has loyalty charms or potions on Minnie too. We need a plan. Did you come to rescue me deliberately?"

Harry hung his head.

"No, sir, I was coming to ask your advice on the best way to commit suicide, as life is so intolerable at the moment, and the headmaster happy to encourage them to bully me."

"That is not the Albus I knew. Suicide? Now I'm really angry at how far you've been driven. You don't need suicide, laddie, you need revenge. How could Albus ... But if he's been like this for a while ... he always has believed he knew best about everything, there's a word for it, hubris. Hmm, we need a place to hide for me to get my strength up and to plot."

"I was thinking about going down into the Chamber of Secrets to kill myself, perhaps with Basilisk venom, and leaving a note 'His Bones will lie in the Chamber forever' to remind them that I don't need to compete in some stupid tournament, I more than proved myself against Slytherin's basilisk."

"Hehe, that would be mildly amusing," said Moody. "What made you come to me instead?"

"I was afraid that I might be immune to the poison having been healed by Fawkes, and that the headmaster would then send his phoenix to get me."

Moody nodded.

"Constant vigilance! There are wards against phoenixes which I can set up. Your little friend can help?"

Dobby nodded.

"Dobby will help against Evil headmaster whiskers and bad children who drive Dobby's Harry Potter to want to kill himself."

"Good lad," grunted Moody. "I don't suppose you can get into the Chamber of Secrets unless Harry is there to call you?"

"No, sir, Dobby is sorry," Dobby started to pull his ears.

"Don't do that," said Harry, sharply. "Professor Moody wasn't criticising you, just asking the extent of your abilities."

"Well put, Harry, and you earned yourself the right to call me 'Alastor'," said Moody. "Right, Dobby, pop us to the entrance of the chamber so Harry can let us in. I've no fear of parseltongue; I was a Slytherin before it was so badly corrupted."

"It would be less badly corrupted if Dumbledore didn't punish other houses when they are victims and tell us to forgive the snakes because we need tolerance," said Harry, resentfully. "I'm all with the forgiving but y'know, I think punishment for bad behaviour comes first."

Alastor frowned.

"Now, is he just more idiotic than I thought, or is it a deliberate ploy to show Voldemort that his favourites will never get into trouble? That man Snape doesn't help."

"No, but he has saved my life twice, so I don't know what to make of him," sighed Harry.

"Well we shall see. At your convenience, Dobby."

Dobby popped them to Myrtle's loo.

"Who's there?" demanded the juvenile ghost.

Harry threw his cloak over Moody.

"Only me, Myrtle," he said. "I'm going down into the chamber to kill myself. I don't know if I'll become a ghost, but if I do, I'll join you."

"Oh, Harry, how romantic!" Myrtle sobbed happily.

"Well, I don't promise anything," said Harry. "I don't know how to become a ghost. Maybe if you go into your stall and concentrate very hard, you might help me."

"Oh yes!" squealed Myrtle, and disappeared back into the toilet marked 'out of order'. Harry had learned long since that there was nothing wrong with the toilet, it was just that girls using it found it disconcerting to have Myrtle's head pop up between their legs. Myrtle had become very strange over the years of being dead. Harry hissed at the tap and revealed the tube. Alastor raised an eyebrow, but let Harry help him into the pipe. The slide resounded to a

" _scoooouuuuurgifyyyyyyyyy"_ cast ahead of the old auror.

Harry followed quickly, and found Alastor banishing all the old bones.

Alastor regarded the basilisk when Harry took him through.

"No, laddie, you don't have anything to prove," he said. "Though I can train you to be even better."

"This assumes I actually keep my magic if I duck out of the tournament and whether I care or not," said Harry. "Dobby, can you find us?"

Dobby popped right in.

"Dobby, will you take orders from me?" asked Alastor.

"Dobby will help Master Mad-eye help Dobby's Harry," said Dobby.

"Good. I will want my trunk; and there were several potions of polyjuice, made up but without my hair in, as that shortens the life of the potion. Pour nine tenths of each bottle into a large container to bring down with my trunk, and top up the rest with water. Use food colouring to make them the right colour. There are a day's worth which have my hair in. Empty nine tenths of them down the sink and do the same thing. It's not something you drink slowly to savour, he'll be chugging it back and hopefully won't notice the awful flavour is thin until too late. When you've brought us everything we need, Dobby, you can watch the imposter and grab his eye and leg when he changes back and bring them to me. Do you understand?"

Dobby nodded.

"We is revealing him for what he is, and making a fool of him," he said, and popped off. It was a little while before he returned with the trunk and a carboy of polyjuice potion.

Alastor had been drawing runes.

"Harry, you have a phoenix feather on you," he said.

"Yes, in my wand; it came from Fawkes," said Harry.

"He will always reach one of his feathers," said Alastor. "You'll have to get rid of it."

As Dobby had just arrived, Dobby said,

"Dobby can bring lots of wands from the come-and-go room and Harry can find a good fit."

"Dobby, you're a marvel," said Harry. "And I have an idea; I won't write about my bones in the chamber, they'll say I'm attention seeking. I won't mention the chamber, I will write a will, and Dobby can put it on my bed because I shall will my wand to Neville, who hasn't been rotten to me, in the hopes it's a better fit for him than his father's, and leave the contents of my vault to Hermione. She'll find out she can't access it so that will tell her privately I'm not dead. And I'll leave my Firebolt to Victor Krum to give to a deserving player he thinks can use it because no way is Ron having it."

"And one thing we can do while down here is to harvest this basilisk and have Dobby take you to Gringotts to set up another account that nobody can touch in case we need anything to fight the two dark wizards we find ourselves with," said Moody.

"I'm not sure why I should be fighting anyone, I'm only fourteen," said Harry.

"Constant vigilance means you kill them before they kill you, and death is no respecter of age," said Moody. "Listen, boy, you can run away by getting Dobby to get you out of the country, or by killing yourself, or you can fight back."

Harry considered.

"I suppose when you put it like that, fighting back seems preferable," he said. "If I still have magic or even my life, after the first task."

"What the hell was Albus doing, making you so miserable that you don't even care?" growled Alastor. "Listen, laddie, you need to let Black know you are alive. On no account tell the werewolf, he is Dumbledor's man through and through. Maybe we can include this Hermione and Neville later. Meantime we are hiding and I'm getting well. I can still train you though. If you go into the castle, avoid pictures and ghosts, they are required to report to the headmaster. But you knew that when you got rid of moaning Myrtle."

"No, I just know she's the biggest gossip next to Lavender Brown," said Harry. "I'll need writing materials."

When Dobby had got them, Harry wrote,

" _This is the last will and testament of Harry James Potter. A copy is being sent to ..."_ "Who do I send it to, to get the institutionalised bullying investigated?"

"Amelia Bones, DMLE," said Alastor. "She's no slouch."

Harry nodded.

" _Amelia Bones, DMLE,"_ he continued to write. _"I am going to kill myself because it has been made clear that my life is worth nothing to my house head, nor to the headmaster, and I think some of my housemates actively want me dead. The whole school is bullying me because they think I entered this stupid tournament, and I didn't. If it wasn't enough for Dumbledore to force me to live with abusive relatives when he could have revealed that Peter Pettigrew was my parents secret keeper to clear my sworn Godfather, Sirius Black, he has continually pushed me into life threatening challenges. The troll in the first year was only partly his fault but he actively encouraged me to face a Cerberus and a possessed teacher. In the second year nobody seemed to do anything about the Basilisk until my friend Hermione figured out what it was and was petrified. Ron only cared because it was his little sister ..."_ Harry paused, frowned, and continued, _"Sherry, I think her name is, it's something to do with booze, who was possessed by the spirit of Voldemort aka Tom Riddle in his diary._ "

"You don't know her name?"

"It's Ginevra, known as Ginny, but she's creepy," said Harry. "She's such a fan girl, and I want to cure her of it, so she can move on and not make a shrine of me. If she hates me for not knowing her name, she can get her shit together."

Alastor nodded.

"A gift which looks cruel but is actually clever and good."

Harry continued,

" _In the third year, I was menaced by dementors which love the scar in my head which nobody has ever suggested healing, and my Godfather had to be rescued in dangerous and dubious circumstances, something Dumbledore connived at, though he did not go the extra mile to let the DMLE question those of us who saw Pettigrew and heard his confession, and Fudge thought all of us had been confounded, and if he thought that, we should have been sent to St Mungo's to have it sorted out, so Fudge was just a part of the cover-up to keep me miserable so I wouldn't have decent loving folks._

 _Now to the meat of what I'm leaving. I know I don't have much money, whatever Ron believes, I worked out what's in my vault and it's enough to put me through school. Well, tough luck jealous Ron, it goes to Hermione Granger who didn't disbelieve me when I said I didn't put my name in that stupid goblet. My wand I leave to Neville, who has never hurt me, even though he's never supported me, in the hopes it will be a better fit than his father's wand and might help him to grow a pair if he wants friends, because to have friends you have to be a friend. My Firebolt I leave to Viktor Krum to give to a deserving young player. Nothing is ever, ever going to the fair weather friend, Ronald Bilius Weasley. I'm sorry, Fred and George, I'd have left you the Map and my invisibility cloak, but I need them to get to where I'm heading to kill myself. If you ever find my body, they are yours. To Voldemort and Dumbledore, I leave the hope that both you dark wizards destroy each other. Unless Dumbledore is Voldemort's agent, which I strongly suspect._

 _This day, November 12_ _th_ _, Harry James Potter."_

Alastor copied the will, and Harry wrote a brief letter to Sirius.

" _Sirius; I'm not dead but I want the wizarding world to think I am. Dobby will explain later."_

Dobby popped the will and the wand onto Harry's pillow, and took the letter for Sirius to Hedwig, and the copy of the will to a school owl, while Harry tried the bundle of wands Dobby had brought. Three of them worked well enough, and Harry decided to keep them all hidden about his person. The others he secreted about the chamber in case he found himself in a battle; they were sluggish but he could power spells through any of them with some effort. If he lost his magic, none of them would work, but Harry remembered the lesson of the false Moody that casting spells was about intent. And that meant that magic was about intent, and therefore as he had no intent to compete, his magic should be safe. He shared the theory with Alastor.

"It's so weird, I want to say 'because you said...' only it wasn't you," he finished.

"He was right enough though," said Alastor. "Magic is about intent. The tickling charm can be a dark spell if used in certain situations. Cast on the throat via the mouth it will suffocate. Cast on the privates, it'll give you the best orgasm you've ever had, but if that's done in front of all the school, the humiliation is a dark effect even if not as bad as suffocating you. Cast on a dragon, sleeping or otherwise, can turn that dragon into a weapon."

"It rather brings home how even simple spells can be used offensively," said Harry.

"Aye, laddie, even grooming spells. Cast a detangling charm used for hair overpowered to affect someone's intestines and they'll be in agony close to that of the cruciatus curse as the guts try futilely to straighten out with nowhere to go."

Harry shuddered. Alastor had a truly dark imagination.

"I would not have thought of that."

Alastor gave a grim smile.

"Well, laddie, I was once in a tight spot backed up into Madam Primpernelle's with some dedicated grooming wands and my own wand broken. I had to get creative. The nail lacquering wand on the eyeballs kept another death eater occupied and you don't want to know what the toenail paring wand up the nose did to the last one."

"No, I don't think I do," said Harry.

Dobby popped in.

"Dobby is thinking that Dobby's Harry needs another elf, and there's poor Winky in the kitchen. Will Dobby's Harry bind with Winky?"

"Not if she's going to betray me by helping either Crouch," said Harry.

"Oh no, she can't do that, she's been separated from their magic," said Dobby.

"Very well," said Harry.

Dobby clapped his hands and a rather fuddled looking Winky turned up.

"Master Harry will be your master," said Dobby, firmly putting her hands between Harry's.

"I ... er, I accept Winky as my elf," said Harry, and there was a flash of light. "I'd rather have ..."

"No, Dobby's Harry, Winky can't handle being free," said Dobby, firmly. "Dobby can now go and watch Mr. Imposter fall apart and point and giggle while Winky is here if you needs an elf."

Dobby popped back with Alastor's eye and leg about an hour later while Alastor was setting up a wizarding tent he kept in his trunk inside the line of wards against phoenixes.

"Thank ye kindly, laddie," said Alastor. "I wager they'll be too busy with that to notice you're gone, Harry, so I imagine the first they hear is from Amelia, unless Albus floos her fast enough that she misses your owl. Then the kneazles will be among the pixies," he grinned savagely. "And then the phoenix will be sent after you. But phoenixes are not all-powerful and Albus forgets that sometimes."

"So when Fawkes has gone, we are safe to explore further, see if Salazar had other chambers? If there's a way out?"

"Exactly, laddie. There must be a way out, into the forest, for the basilisk to have foraged. It may have got blocked but you weren't planning on going anywhere else for a while, were you?"

"No, sir," said Harry.

The great hall had erupted into screams as 'Professor Moody' suddenly started to spasm, and change into someone else. Nobody noticed a house elf quietly pick up the eye which had flown out of his face, or the leg which had fallen off under his chair. Dobby watched quietly while Dumbledore had been first worried, then aghast, at the revelation of Barty Crouch junior. That death eater was quickly tied up, and was about to be hastened towards Dumbledore's office to be questioned under veritaserum before informing the ministry, when Amelia Bones walked in with a group of aurors in uniform.

She stared.

"Merlin's beard! Is there no end to the number of known deatheaters you harbour in your school, headmaster?" she demanded.

"Now, Amelia, calm down. It appears that the man I thought was my old friend was indeed a death eater under polyjuice, and one we thought dead, at that."

"Like Pettigrew, who you did not see fit to inform me is alive," said Amelia, tartly.

"Someone has been doing switching charms, I suppose and wrote to you to warn you that this would happen, someone who had knowledge of Pettigrew as well," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "Well, you have your prisoner, and I fear without proof, Pettigrew's survival is a moot point. But you are welcome to Barty here."

"In due course," said Amelia. "I came here to talk to you about the death of Harry Potter."

There was a loud silence, and a single voice belonging to Hermione Granger, shouting

"NOOOOOO!"

Albus smiled.

"Don't be silly, Amelia, Harry hasn't even faced the first task yet. Any report of his death is greatly exaggerated."

"I got a copy of his combined suicide note and will which is why I'm here," said Amelia.

"What?" Albus was visibly shocked. "Amelia, I'm sure he's bluffing. Fawkes!" he called and the phoenix appeared, trilling a query.

"Harry Potter is hiding. I suspect him to be in the Chamber of Secrets. Go and take him to my office, please," said Dumbledore.

Fawkes flashed away, and Dumbledore waited with a confident twinkle in his eyes. Several minutes later, Fawkes returned, singing a doleful song and shaking his head.

Dumbledore stared.

"I believe the original of the will is on Mr. Potter's bed," said Amelia.

Harry's will and his wand were indeed on his bed, and Amelia picked it up as Dumbledore reached for it.

"I believe I should take this and seal it, Amelia," said Dumbledore. "As head of the Wizengamot, I ..."

"You aren't head of the Wizengamot here, you're a headmaster and that will is evidence in a number of ongoing legal investigations which are my business," said Amelia.

"But Amelia, we don't want Harry ridiculed if it came out what teenage angst-ridden ramblings he has written; I know what his wishes will be, he will want his Firebolt to go to his friend Ron," there was heard a "YES!" from outside the room, "And his money, as he is the last of his line, will go to his dear friends the Weasleys."

"Well, I'm sorry, you do not know his wishes at all," said Amelia. "He said that Ron would be the last person on earth to have his Firebolt, and his money is to go to Hermione Granger. There were other, individual bequests which I shall see carried out."

"Why that rotten, no-good cheating bastard!" Ron burst into the room. "I deserve that Firebolt, I've been his best mate since we started school just like the headmaster told me to be, and it isn't easy when the mental idiot listens to that mental bushy-haired know-it-all and wants to do work instead of playing chess, because I can beat him at chess and keep the half-blood in his place, however much he might have!"

Albus Dumbledore did not facepalm himself but he came close.

"So you have always maintained that Harry did not put his own name in the cup?" said Amelia.

"Of course he did, and he wouldn't even tell me how he did it!" said Ron. "I told him he was a git."

"You told him he was a git, you did not trust his word and you still expect to be left something by someone you betrayed?" asked Amelia, incredulous.

"Yes, of course, he's my best mate, the headmaster said so, before we even started school," said Ron.

"Take this rather silly boy to St Mungo's and have him checked for charms, compulsions and potions," said Amelia, to one of the aurors.

"Yes, ma'am," said the tall, black man, hustling Ron away before Dumbledore could react.

"What did he leave me?" asked Ginny, forcing her way in to the room.

"Are you Hermione Granger?"

"No, of course not, who would want to be Hermione Granger?" Ginny said, scornfully. Amelia heard a gasp from the bushy-haired girl and saw tears in her eyes.

"Well the only other female he mentions is Ron's sister ..."

"That's me!"

"Whose name he thinks is Sherry or some other alcoholic beverage," said Amelia. Now she understood why Harry had written that. Ginny went white.

"It's Ginevra," Ginny snapped.

"Oh, well, you can't expect a boy to remember the names of all his classmates siblings, I suppose," said Amelia. "You were mentioned in passing with regards to the Basilisk incident which we will be discussing with the headmaster and sundry others."

Ginny gasped.

"But I was supposed to marry him! Mum said so! The headmaster promised!"

Dumbledore winced. Why did the younger Weasleys appear to be entirely devoid of brains?

"Well, that's something else we will be discussing with the headmaster," said Amelia. "Along with the reckless endangerment of a school full of children, and why none of them seem to have sent home any comments about it. And certain other incidents. Professor Dumbledore, you are to consider yourself under arrest pending enquiries."

"Oh, come, Amelia, don't you think it's a little extreme to arrest me over an unfortunate disturbed boy's ramblings?" said Dumbledore.

"He isn't rambling," said Hermione in a hard, tight little voice. "I was one of those who was petrified by the basilisk but nobody cared until Ginny disappeared because all of us were mudbloods and it was made quite clear that we didn't count. I was also with Harry when we dealt with the Cerberus and it was me he rescued from the troll in the girls' toilets. I was with him when we were attacked by a hundred or so dementors and Harry drove them off with his patronus, no I am NOT exaggerating, Madam Bones, and I believe you have a way where we can show memories which is how I can also show you that Sirius Black is innocent. I only found out about pensieves in a book the other day and I recognised the picture as something the Headmaster has in his office so he could have taken our memories and got Sirius Black freed last year. I expect Sirius will also kill himself when he knows Harry is dead, because he lives for that boy, and escaped to try to capture Peter Pettigrew so Harry would be safe from him. But at least the truth will be known and this rotten, stinking, corrupt government, led by its rotten, stinking, corrupt chief warlock will be revealed in all its foetic glory."

"Miss Granger! One hundred points from Gryffindor! Show some respect!" said McGonagall.

"Respect is earned, Minerva, and I have none for you or for Dumbledore or your school or your government. I'm transferring to Beauxbatons forthwith, please arrange me the paperwork," said Hermione. "That gentle, loving, decent boy whose only fault was to have a thing about saving people, has been hounded to death by a lying, manipulative headmaster who encouraged the bullying of him. And if you, ma'am, are related to one Susan Bones, I trust you are ashamed of her for being one of the bullies."

Amelia went white.

"Susan?" she whispered.

"Susan has been one of those wearing 'Potter stinks' badges, lovely behaviour in front of foreign visitors, just because someone, presumably that death eater impersonating Professor Moody, put Harry's name in the goblet. V... Voldemort has won because Harry Potter is dead."

"Harry did express an opinion that the headmaster was Voldemort's agent," said Amelia, grimly.

"No! He could not think that!" cried Dumbledore, upset.

"Why not? He considers you have deliberately sent him into danger over and over again," said Amelia. "Will you swear to me on your magic you have never deliberately put Harry Potter into danger?"

Dumbledore stared. Of course he could not swear that.

"Amelia, it was for the greater good, he had to be hardened up to face Voldemort," he said, as if explaining why bed time is fixed to a small child.

"Instead you broke him," said Amelia. "We in the DMLE call that child abuse and second degree murder. You're coming with me."

"Fawkes!" Dumbledore called.

He was ignored.

He would not know that it was because he was so busy concentrating on how to recover from this setback against Voldemort that he had not managed to feel any remorse. It had been enough to break an already shaky bond.

Dark Lord Albus Dumbledore was taken into custody.

"Please, what about the real Alastor Moody?" asked Hermione.

Barty Crouch confessed that the real Moody was in his trunk, but no sign was found of the trunk, and Amelia concluded that Dumbledore had called on an elf to hide it to murder his one time friend. As Alastor said when he found out, she could be forgiven one mistake like that based on other evidence.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Dobby reported all this back to Alastor and Harry.

"Poor Hermione," said Harry. "Do you think I should ask Dobby to slip her down here too?"

"Not until she's given her testimony to Amelia," said Alastor. "It's investigating your death which is bringing all this out. I wouldna have thought it of Albus. I am ashamed that I believed in him. You don't harden recruits by sending them into situations, you train them until they hate you a little bit, and then let them take a situation they can undertake easily so they see why you train them so hard. And you praise them for what was done well and make them tell you what they did wrong. And you certainly can't build a warrior from a broken man, and to my mind, he set about making sure you came to school already broken."

Harry nodded.

"I was so thrilled to be away from my relatives, because that place is no home to me, and magic seemed the answer," he said, unaware that in Albus' office several monitoring devices died and lay still at the words 'no home'. "And then right from the first, it was danger! And people getting at me for one reason or another, like being a parselmouth. Obviously at twelve years old I was a dark wizard capable of petrifying people, I mean it's so obvious. Really?"

"People are fools and people who fear are even more of fools," said Alastor. "Right, let's see about clearing what looks like a passage to outside, and then if we use our invisibility cloaks to get outside the wards, we can go get that anonymous bank account set up. What I plan to do is to sit out the investigation with you, and then to let Amelia know that I took you into protective custody when I discovered your plans to die, which isn't that far from the truth. I'm going to credit you with rescuing me because you were looking for a weapon to do the deed, and your compassionate nature wouldn't leave me."

"That's close enough, actually," said Harry. "I couldn't leave you there. Then what?"

"I'm going to claim custody of you as magical guardian and rear you as my son; Sirius is going to need medical help for a few year, though I'll make sure he has access to you when he's cleared. And I'll be a tough guardian, but not unfair."

"Thank you sir, you've been about the kindest grown up I've ever known."

Since Alastor had been working on Harry's fitness, this made the old auror grind his teeth once more.

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"Name of account?" said the goblin teller.

"Luke Skywalker," said Harry. He paid ten galleons to open the account.

"If I deposit basilisk parts, will you sell them for me, for a percentage?" he asked.

"If you have access to basilik parts we ask a 3% commission," said the teller.

"Very good," said Harry.

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Once Amelia removed the compulsion charms from Susan, her niece readily imparted the information about the various incidents Harry had mentioned, so far as she knew about them. A full team of aurors and healers from St Mungos discovered mild dislike compulsions or aversion charms towards Harry Potter on the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw dormitories; Slytherin didn't like him as a matter of course. The points system dealt with normal interhouse hatreds, and blatently unfair 'adjustments' by the twinkling sociopath. Loyalty charms on Minerva McGonagall and aversion charms to any Potter on Snape and compulsions to see Harry as a nuisance on Poppy Pomfrey were the tip of the iceberg. As Amelia said, what kind of mediwitch doesn't perform a full scan on all new children to check for abusive homes or medical conditions they are ashamed to mention? The whole Weasley family were found to be under low level loyalty charms, and Molly Weasley had to be placed in medical custody in the secure ward to prevent her from leading a lynching party.

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The Triwizard went ahead, around the investigation; Amelia had wanted to stop it, but the fury of the three contestants over her condemning them to lose their magic, something which would kill Fleur, had her hold up her hands and agree that the contest should go ahead once she had overlooked it, and made any modifications necessary.

When she read the tasks, she was horrified.

She allowed three dragons for the first task, but all common Welsh greens, and not nesting mothers at that. The second task she vetoed out of hand as far too dangerous to the hostages who had definitely not put their names in the Goblet, and discriminating against Fleur, since her magic would be dangerously dampened in more ways than one in cold water, and the tentative idea of using her sister could kill the child. The wording of the riddle was also guaranteed to put the contestants under undue stress, believing that someone they loved would die if they could not complete a stupid competition. Amelia decreed an artificial island to be made on rafts, and the contestants had to use spell work to enable them to fetch an item from it. As for the third task, she just scored lines through some of the creatures.

"How on earth are they supposed to find acromantulas that size anyway?" she demanded of Auror Trainee Tonks.

"Oh, in the Forbidden Forest, there's millions," said Nymphadora. "What? I've served enough detentions there, I should know, Hagrid's pet Aragog is their king and he's about the size of a muggle car."

The Forbidden Forest went on Amelia's bucket list of sorting out.

The first task was completed with little ado, and instead of eggs recorded in mermish, the contestants were given a brief description of the second task. When they heard what had been in store for them there was more outrage towards Bagman, Crouch, Fudge, Dumbledore and anyone else involved. Krum declared that Harry Potter's legacy was much more than a broom, that he might owe the dead boy a life debt, and he swore to help magical Britons in trouble.

Meanwhile, Alastor and Harry discovered Salazar's library and Harry was learning parselmagic.

Fudge had resigned when Amelia had threatened to make Harry's comments public, and she was now acting Minister, and planned to make the most of it. Hogwarts meanwhile carried on mostly as usual with occasional people sent to the hospital wing for charm removals, in the Chamber of Secrets a Basilisk was being harvested and there was a steady removal of dark artefacts from sundry places like the Slytherin dormitories and the Room of Requirements. Dobby reported that Amelia had found 'the icky headdress' and said it was a horcrux and that the diary Harry had killed sounded like one too.

"That's what's in your head, then," said Alastor.

"Alastor, I've gotten to see all the things I believed were wrong with Hogwarts being put right. Can we try the basilisk venom on my scar? If I do die, it will be knowing that all is being put right, and of all people, I trust you to do it."

Alastor grunted and used his eye to look at the scar.

He laughed.

"Harry, laddie, it's self-contained, which is why you aren't actually possessed or insane. If I cut it open and pour in the venom, it'll hurt like hell, but the poison won't touch you at all. And as it hasn't had the immunity of the mix of venom and phoenix tears, it's vulnerable."

It hurt, but Harry was held immobile by spells, and he saw the dark spirit emerge, wailing, much like the thing from Quirrell. And he hugged Alastor, and called him 'Dad'.

Harry's only concern was that he might no longer be able to speak parseltongue, one reason he had used his newly acquired parselmagic to undo the passwords on the tunnel to the forest, employing English passwords there instead. However, he seemed quite able to use the language.

"Stands to reason, laddie, you don't learn a language from a curse wound. When you open your parents' main vault when you come of age, I wager there'll be a note in the family grimoire about the Potters being parseltongues. After all, you're all descended from the Peverells, and the Peverells are descended from Salazar Slytherin, it would be amazing if you were not parseltongues."

Harry was much comforted by that.

"Dumbledore said my father was not a parseltongue."

"And you revealed yours accidentally, not knowing that some consider it dark. If it was a family secret, Dumbledore wouldn't have known if James _was_ a parselmouth. And James have been told to keep it quiet by his father."

And that, thought Harry, was quite likely. His father might have pulled pranks and played quidditch but nobody said that he had to be stupid.

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The encounter shortly after that, outside in the grounds, when both were under invisibility cloaks was weird. A girl with pale hair and protuberant blue eyes said,

"Harry Potter, you ought to tell Hermione now that the wrackspurts have left your head. She's going to want to know you are alive because she has no intention of touching your money."

Dissembling was apparently useless.

"Who are you?" asked Harry, emerging, cautiously.

"I'm Luna Lovegood, and thanks to you, Professor Flitwick has entirely got rid of the nargles from Ravenclaw house," said Luna. "Thank you, Harry Potter, with all my heart. Shall I take a note to Hermione?"

"Um, yes," said Harry. "Thank you."

He wrote a letter.

" _Hermione, it's a long story but Professor Moody, the real one, stopped me killing myself and he's been helping me a lot. Please don't tell anyone yet. Do you have any idea why Miss Lovegood can see through invisibility cloaks? She caught me. Alastor, who is going to be my dad, says we can come out when everything that should be found has been found. Thanks so much for telling Miss Bones the truth and not standing up for the Headmaster. I do miss you, but Alastor and I wanted it that no other muggleborn should ever have to go through what you and I have. Harry."_

It stuck to the slightly massaged story he and Alastor had agreed on.

"Bring her here this time tomorrow," said Alastor.

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The missile that was Hermione almost knocked Harry over, laughing and crying and scolding all at once. And then it seemed the most normal thing in the world to snog her into silence.

She moved in with them, as much as she could without being missed. Since she had no real friends but Harry, now joined by Luna, this was quite a lot. And Luna surprised them by being able to read written parseltongue and started learning the language. When Harry and Hermione expressed surprise, she said,

"Oh, but my great grandmother was related to Charlus Potter, so it was always going to be latent. It's just easier to learn from another Speaker."

This rather tended to confirm Alastor's theory.

Sirius kept in contact, while he was being cleared, and then he publicly declared Hermione to be under the magical protection of House Black, and his heir. The stipulations that all members of the house must be pure did not actually specify pure blood; that was only assumed, and Sirius declared Hermione pure in heart. He cast out Bellatrix, and another horcrux emerged, as did the one Kreacher was hoarding.

Alastor decided that they might as well emerge after the second task, and Dobby took them both directly to Amelia.

"The boy was mentally sick, Amelia and I knew what Albus and Cornelius would do to him," said Alastor. "And he might not have been so lucky as to run into someone who genuinely had his interests at heart once they had decided to make him even more miserable. You had to make enough changes to enable him to walk free. This boy has been in a private hell created by Albus Dumbledore which is close to being in Azkaban. I am going to adopt him."

It may be said that after much heart-searching, Harry and Luna both joined Hermione at Beauxbatons. Hogwarts was much improved, but loyalty charms or no, Harry found it hard to forgive Minerva McGonagall, who was to regret for the rest of her life that she had betrayed James and Lily in failing to be Harry's Aunt Minnie

Amelia involved the muggle authorities regarding Voldemort, and the muggles of Little Hangleton were evacuated long enough to drop a battlefield nuke on him. It created as much heat as fiendfyre and took out the one remaining horcrux in the Gaunt shack as well. Dumbledore died in prison wondering why Tom Riddle had not come back since he had not been available to destroy the horcruxes. Nobody bothered to tell him.

Harry could not choose between his girlfriends and married both of them, and became a famous healer using parseltongue to do such things as regrow his adoptive father's leg, despite the cursed wound. His actions made parseltongue respectable.

Alastor elected to keep the eye. He liked intimidating people.


End file.
